【6:406】◆◆上野クリニック part2◆◆- 1 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After 2009/08/10(月) 10:43:22 ID:igqKDCWN
- とっくりセーターは通販
- 397 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After ：2009/11/20(金) 01:31:33 ID:7B38fOAQ
- An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple,
who had
been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband
turned to
his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown,
and whispered,
"Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years, just cooperate with
anything
he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and
pretend
you like it. Our lives depend on it"
"Dear", the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you
feel
that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a really nice
arse".
- 398 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After ：2009/11/20(金) 22:14:27 ID:7B38fOAQ
- A Lesson in Church
A man and his wife were sitting in church,
the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting.
The priest asked "Who created the Earth and man?"
The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, "GOD!"
The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right."
Then he asked "Who is God's son?"
Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle,
he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!"
Again, the priest said, "Correct."
Finally, the priest asked,
"What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?"
The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed
（省略されました・・全てを読むにはここを押してください）
- 399 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After ：2009/11/20(金) 22:15:16 ID:7B38fOAQ
- 1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
2. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt).... Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
3. Nice legs...what time do they open?
4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
9. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
10. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
11. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
12. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
13. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
14. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
15. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
（省略されました・・全てを読むにはここを押してください）
- 400 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After ：2009/11/20(金) 22:16:08 ID:7B38fOAQ
- An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Pole were captured
by the Germans and thrown into prison.
However, the guard was rather kind towards them, and said,
"I am going to lock you away for five years,
but I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you up."
The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.
The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.
The Pole says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, the Germans come to release their prisoners.
（省略されました・・全てを読むにはここを押してください）
- 401 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After ：2009/11/21(土) 21:33:51 ID:zYeDGt/x
-
一般に
どんな契約でも、おかしいと思ったら。
後からでも消費者センターに電話して相談するほうがいいよね。
- 402 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After ：2009/11/21(土) 21:37:14 ID:r3G5SlkW
- An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but
only 4 parachutes.
The first passenger said, " I'm Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball
player, the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die" So he took the first pack and left the plane.
The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of the
former president of the United States, I am also the most ambitious woman in the world and
I am a New York Senator and a potential future president."
She just took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, George W. Bush, said: "I'm President of the
United States of America, I have a great responsibility being the
leader of a superpower nation. And above all I'm the cleverest
President in American history, so America's people won't let me die."
（省略されました・・全てを読むにはここを押してください）
- 403 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After ：2009/11/21(土) 21:37:58 ID:r3G5SlkW
- It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a
Japanese businessman, entered the fourthgrade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.
Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for that of Suzuki who had his
hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people,
for the people shall not perish from the earth'"?
Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class,
"Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country,
（省略されました・・全てを読むにはここを押してください）
- 404 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After ：2009/11/21(土) 22:49:39 ID:uA4EF6rF
- 一般に
どんな契約でも、おかしいと思ったら。
後からでも消費者センターに電話して相談するほうがいいよね。
- 405 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After ：2009/11/22(日) 05:53:53 ID:rwh5uXn1
- SNL A Message From Kim Jong Il
Good evening. Recent provocative and hooliganistic statements by the cowboy government
of the United States have villianously slandered our nation, and threatened the joyful
happiness of the Korean people. The North Korean people will contemptuously reject these
accusantions, and continue to support our wise policy of cheating on all international agreements,
then indignantly denying this when we are caught.
I am not some petty chieftain to be easily intimidated. I am extremely unstable and highly irrational,
and, for your information, quite completely insane. At age three, I was diagnosed as psychotic, sociopathic,
and suffered from both Manic Depression and Acute Pediatric Schizophrenia. I was a chronic bed-wetter. Not only my own,
but the beds of others. As a consequence, I developed Anxiety Disorder, Disassociative Disorder, and general dysphoria.
In addition, I am delusional. I have difficulty distinguishing reality from my fantasy world. When I was first informed
of the aggressive actions of the United States, my first response was violent anger. Then a lengthy crying jag,
followed by sudden deep sleep for about two days. Then several hours of frantic masturbation, punctuated by more crying jags.
- 406 名前：名無しさん＠Before→After ：2009/11/23(月) 18:28:29 ID:jMra+DxN
- 一般に
どんな契約でも、おかしいと思ったら。
後からでも消費者センターに電話して相談するほうがいいよね。
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